Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize