It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
