If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just found a bag of teeth...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
