i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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