We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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