the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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