The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
