I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize