New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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