She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
