He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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