You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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