Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
