Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
