You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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