i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
