let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
