Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
