i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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