the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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