No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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