hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
