apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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