Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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