Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
