just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
