Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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