I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
