dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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