Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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