youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
