Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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