Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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