Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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