It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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