god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
