I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
