Someone shit on the floor
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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