Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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