she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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