Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
