The maid of honor just puked.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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