Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
