My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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