Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
