I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
