somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
