I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
