So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
