A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
