no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
