Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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