P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
