I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
