Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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