When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
