She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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