Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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