I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
