420 ftw
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
