Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
