i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize