I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize